Past Imperfect
by web of light
Summary: Added moment from the episode Imperfection. B'Elanna reflects on the changes in her relationship with Seven of Nine. Friendship.
"So you didn't have to go on this mission? You volunteered. Just like that. Do you know how dangerous this is?"

Another minute and he would have been inside the Flyer with Tuvok going over the pre-flight protocols. B'Elanna had caught him in the corridor right outside the Shuttle bay doors.

"About as dangerous as you allowing yourself to be assimilated. Without asking my opinion."

"That was different!"

'Yes. It was. You went into the heart of the Borg matrix. Hiding in plain sight around live drones, not to mention the Queen herself. I am flying into a debris field. The drones are either damaged or dead. In and out mission."

"You know perfectly well the Borg retrieve their damaged drones. You would be out there alone and be assimilated for real!"

"So you are allowed to volunteer for dangerous missions and I'm not?"

"That's not what I meant. Seven obviously couldn't go. I was the only one who could do what I did. The Captain can fly the shuttle."

"She could. But like I told her I'm kind of picky about the Flyer seeing as how you all managed to allow the first one to get blown up."

"That's why you're doing this. You're doing this to get back at me because you were angry that I volunteered…"

"Yes I was angry. I didn't tell you at the time but I was as angry as hell just like you are now but that's not why I'm doing this. I'm doing this because it's my job. I can't go into details right now but Seven needs our help. The Captain has an idea and that means flying into the debris field."

"It's still different!"

'What's so different about it?"

"This time...you're my husband."

She hadn't meant to say that. Her own words surprised her. She half expected him to roll his eyes and groan at her. The anger left his eyes but she wasn't sure what it was that replaced it.

"I have to go but we'll talk when I get back." He kissed her on the forehead and was out the door leaving her in the corridor. Turning she nearly bumped into Captain Janeway. She didn't seem surprised to see B'Elanna there. She just nodded at her Engineer and hurried through the door behind Tom. A slight sick feeling washed over her. How much had the Captain heard? It was ridiculous, the two of them arguing in the corridor. They really should be past this. Maybe all she had witnessed was Tom's goodbye which was perfectly acceptable behavior.

She fumed all the way back to Engineering allowing her negative thoughts to fester. It wasn't the same. Memories insisted on intruding as she vainly tried to concentrate on her job. She was angry that he hadn't told her he had been angry at her part in the mission involving Unimatrix Zero. Why hadn't he said anything at the time?

She remembered the tubulars in her neck, the feeling of cybernetics being implanted into her flesh. The only thing standing between her and becoming a full drone was the Doctor's inoculation. Tom had no such protection. A cube could appear without warning. She closed her eyes imagining the implants piercing his skin and Tom becoming someone she would not recognize. This mission was all because Seven needed something. She imagined Tom as a drone looking as Seven did when she first saw her. The cold icy stare, the imperious voice, the dead eyes.

Time past slowly but eventually her thoughts were interrupted by a signal from the comm. The Flyer had returned safely but it had taken fire. She was relieved and angry at the same time. They most certain would have a talk as soon as she saw him again. Minutes ticked by but she heard nothing from him. She was already annoyed but now things were starting to boil over.

Her mental tangent was interrupted by the arrival of Harry to Engineering.

"Captain Janeway has given us a high priority project. We are to do what we can to repair this." He held up a small silver cylinder.

"That's a Borg cortical node." She said.

"It's a replica of Seven's as it is now. We couldn't replicate it exactly but it's as close as we can get. The real thing is degrading. If we can't fix it then all of her other systems…"

"Will shut down." B'Elanna said. A harsh realization chased away her anger and replaced it with remorse. "Is that why the Captain insisted on going into the debris field?"

"They retrieved one from a dead drone. She and Tom and the Doc are in the Holodeck right now undergoing simulations to see if it will work. In the meantime we are supposed ..."

"I know what we have to do. Let's get to work."

Releasing an angry growl she banged the padd against the console. Experiment after experiment had been tried and failed. Borg technology was simply beyond them.

"To think I'm working so hard to save Seven's life." She said. "At one time I wouldn't even call her by name. I didn't even use her preferred designation. I called her 'The Borg'."

"We've all come a long way since then, Seven included." Harry said. B'Elanna's thoughts flew into the past to her original reaction to Seven. The mixture of hate and fear that had expressed itself in Klingon aggression.

"I'm going back to her alcove and see if there is anything else we can use." She said. Outside in the corridor she ran into the Doctor.

"Have you seen Seven?" The Doctor asked. "We've checked in Astrometrics and her alcove and she is nowhere to be found. She needs to be in sickbay!" He was frantic.

"No, I haven't seen her." B'Elanna said. She was still deep in memory. Without another word to the Doctor she walked over to the turbolift.

Long ago B'Elanna had questioned Seven about guilt. About having remorse for the things she had done as a drone. She had treated her with contempt but somewhere along the line contempt had vanished. Being partially assimilated and seeing up close how the drones worked without free will had opened her eyes. Her own most recent fears of Tom being turned into a living machine and being forced to work in one of those colorless cold cubes reminded her of old way of thinking. Seven was just a much a victim of the Borg as was any of the millions she had helped assimilate. She could not have disobeyed the collective. She could not help that despite having the intellect of several geniuses she was much like a child, growing and learning the way of her species by taking small steps with the help of the Captain and the Doctor. She remembered Chakotay's words "a part of the team'. Neelix had obeyed, she found a kindred spirit with Tuvok, Tom had offered her friendship and even Harry with his bumbling crush had reached out to her. Everyone had done their part with one exception.

She found her in Engineering in the upper work station just as she knew she would. This time Seven was asking the questions. About the Afterlife. About memories. B'Elanna never thought she would find herself in the situation where she would be comforting the former Borg but she did the best she could. Seven was no longer that cold heartless empty machine. She was a human being. An individual full of concern just like any other member of the crew. B'Elanna was no longer that judgmental prejudiced person she was back then. Everything was different.

The Doctor found them but B'Elanna persuaded him to allow her to stay. She left her there in Engineering conscience that Seven considered this a safe place, just as she did.

Everyone was right. Seven had come a long way and would be missed. She would leave a hole in Voyager's family and an empty place in B'Elanna's life. She threw herself back into the project full force to keep the sad thoughts away.

It was no use. Constant experiments on the node and the conversation with Seven was starting to overload her mind. Her morning argument with Tom which seemed so important at the time faded. How silly it was to think she could control him, to make him stop doing what he did best. She had heard about the away missions and the unexpected encounter with the raiders. Without Tom in the right place at the right time using his skill to fly through the debris the team might not have escaped.

"Harry, I'm going to take a break for a few minutes. I'll be in my quarters. I just have to go clear my head." Harry nodded without looking up from the console. His attention was clearly on his latest idea.

She was surprised to see Tom there, sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Looking up he was obviously as surprised to see her. There was a long awkward moment where they stared at each other without speaking. She didn't know if she should pick up the argument where they left off or to just ignore it. He broke the silence.

"Twelve times we tried and twelve times we failed." He said. "I can't go back to the bridge. I'm on call in case the Doctor finds some kind of miracle cure and needs me."

"Seven told me about the simulation. We haven't found a way to fix her cortical node. Borg technology…."

"I know." He said. They let the moment pass between them. "Four years she's been with us." He continued. "I remember how shocked I was when the Captain told us she was not sending her back to the Collective but then...we saw the real person in there."

"You saw the real person. Harry saw the real person...everyone saw the real person...but me."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. It was quite the adjustment. For all we know it just might have been your Klingon conditioning coming through. We know from history that it takes them a while to trust old enemies. We don't know if it's instinctive or cultural. Or it could just have been you. You have understandable reasons not to take everything at face value. Being the way she was then I'm sure she didn't take it personally."

She didn't answer him. Before she would have snapped at him for mentioning her Klingon heritage or bring up anything about her past life but not this time. It was true. She reflected back on how long it had taken her to trust Tom.

She replicated herself a Raktajino. She did not look at him when she sat down beside him preferring to stare at the dark liquid in her cup.

"I was just thinking of the scraps we've gotten into and how we would have not gotten out of them without her help." He continued. "And there were times when she was unintentionally funny but when she did learn about humor she always nailed it. It's been a real experience having her on this ship. If we can't find a way to fix this it's going to be hard on all of us, especially The Captain and Icheb…and the Doctor.

"And me." She said softly.

"I remember how relieved you were when the Astrometrics lab was finished. I seem to recall you saying "Now maybe she'll stay out of engineering!"

"I did. And I was relieved. She was too good. Had an answer for everything. Took her a long time to learn to obey orders and to practice simple human courtesy. She drove me crazy but eventually I grew used to her being part of our team, our family. One day I realized that she was a reflection of me. I went through those exact same problems but it took me a long time to recognize that." She stopped long enough to take a long drink. "Now that I think about it...would we even be together if it wasn't for her? The first time she tried to help us create a transwarp conduit and we wound up floating in space….and talking to her was what made me decide be your co-pilot which is how we landed up here."

Glancing up from her drink she caught him staring straight ahead but with a smile on his face.

"We do owe her a lot." Tom said. She moved closer to him and he put his arm around her. They needed to share the coming sadness. B'Elanna felt regret. Why hadn't she come around sooner? Why hadn't she seen what the others had seen? If Seven came through this ordeal...

At that moment his combadge chirped.

"Mr. Paris. Please report to sickbay immediately!"

"On my way Doctor." He turned to B'Elanna. "Maybe they found that miracle cure."

"Let's hope so…"

He turned around before he got to the door.

"I'm sorry about this morning. The thing is, we're both right. We can't stop each other from going on dangerous assignments but at the same time...there is no way I can stop myself from worrying about what might happen...and I guess it's the same for you. We could...I suppose at least take the time to explain WHY we are volunteering. It may not change any minds but at least...

"Everything you just said is true. It's just part of who we are. Charge ahead and not think about the consequences... we do need to talk this out but we can do this later. Right now...GO!"

He nodded and was out the door. She finished her drink mentally preparing herself to return to Engineering just in case whatever they were doing in sick bay didn't work. Right now all that mattered was that everything that could be done was being done to save her friend, Seven of Nine.


End file.
